living, thinking and writing
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Thursday, December 26, 2002 Hook-up & Hang-out got this article from aldaily . Very insightful perspective on elite college's politcs and youth. One insteresting question raised by the article: Is true love too extravagant for young meritocracy, despite that they can gain anything else in the world? The auther taught in Yale and he observed these prevailent dating rituals-- Hook-up and Hang-out: "Their main lack is time. Students boast to each other about how little sleep they've gotten, and how long it's been since they had a chance to get back to their dorm room. Often they will tell you they have no time for serious dating. They are more likely to go out in groups--the group has replaced the couple as the primary social unit. And then, of course, they sometimes hook up for sex. I'd heard about all this, but I've been struck by how many young women will come up to me--a journalist who has been known to write about such things--after a speech and say something like "I don't have time for a relationship, so of course I hook up." They do so in the tone one might use to describe commuting routes. Nor did I really understand how students got from the group-gathering stage to the intimate Hook Up stage. It turns out there's an intermediate phase called the Hang Out, as in "Do you want to come hang out in my room?" The Hang Out begins with the two students ensconced in a dorm room, engaged in stilted conversation about some pseudo-intellectual topic. It then proceeds through a series of ever less cerebral conversational stages, which may last over a few Hang Out sessions, until the two are in bed. There are thus many different kinds of Hang Outs, and friends will ask each other, "Yeah, but what kind of Hang Out was it?" Similarly, there are many different kinds of Hook Ups, with infinite and ill-defined gradations of seriousness. " And here is one of the explainations proposed by the auther: "When you put it this way, it sounds cold and calculating. In fact, these students are merely following the advice of their parents--the same people who would be quick to condemn them for taking the magic out of love. How many parents do you know--liberal or conservative, atheist or evangelical--who would enjoy seeing their child devote the bulk of his or her collegiate energies to a boyfriend or girlfriend, rather than to the vast array of activities and learning opportunities available at these $40,000-a-year schools? Very few. Parents who are ambitious for their kids imbue them with a professional, strategizing mindset. It's not surprising that they have carried this over--to some extent--into the arena of romance and sex. " posted by lmeimei @9:55 PM| permanent link| | |
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